It's been awhile since I've posted only because I couldn't remember my password again.  For the past month it has been very difficult for me.  I get up from the sitting position and my feet still hurt but I am bent over with my back I slowly start moving upright.  I have had 3 migraines that have effected my eyes.  I am not sure if any of this has anything to do with symptoms...I guess at this point I am thinking almost everything is 'cause I still refuse to look things up and read about it. 
     I can't stand it when people say it's because of stress or nerves...hum hello, you are not me and if you knew me at all you would see that I have one of the least stressful lives there is.  I have the normal amount of stress I guess you would say,  I got great kids that help me (well one helps more than the other, but the other has been trying to help out more). 
     Sometimes I wish that they would go ahead and diagnose me with it but other times I wish I didn't even know that the doctor had said it.  I am not afraid of a diagnoses, I am not scared of going back to the doctor, but I am nervous about the medicine that I will have to be on.  I am not sure when I will be going back to the doctors I am hoping that I will be able to prolong it for another 5 to 15 years only because of our 1 year old. 
     The only thing is I don't have anyone I can ask and get answers back.  I have liked two things of Facebook and I have commented on several things asking questions, and I know they have a lot of comments to read but half the comments that I have read have nothing to do with what they asked you or anything really.  The only reply I got back was when I asked about a fundraiser for a certain Parkinson's thing and they were quick to say yeah look here.  NOT COOL! Just sayin'.
     I feel bad when I keep things from my husband.  I guess I don't want him to think less of me so I keep it in as long as I can even though I know he is here for me.  I just recently told him that I have forgotten to but the car in park before letting my foot off the brake, in the driveway, 3 different times.  There was something else that I had a problem with but can't remember it now.  Anyway...
Thanks for reading, God Bless.

     So things are getting a little tougher now.  I have still been keeping track of everything (only on Sunday mornings).  My right upper thigh as tremors for the past couple of days.  My fingers (index and middle) on my right hand feel as if they have arthritis at least what I imagine it feels like.  My right forearm hurts whenever I go to move it (not all the time), and I get sharp pains in my head every once and awhile although this pain I think my be residual from an optical migraine I had yesterday.  I am typing all of these things down in case I forget when I do decide to go back to the doctor.  There is also weakness in my left hand.  I find it extremely difficult to open jars and fruit snack packages.  I know a lot of people have these problems and that it doesn't mean anything other than the lids are on too tight etc.  I have trouble standing up after sitting, its not just the foot pain.  I still workout though the moment I give in to this all the way is the moment I let it win and I am not about to! NOT YET anyway! I know when enough is enough and that is when I will go back to the doctors...because that is when I will actually need their help!

Forgetting Things....

     I haven't written much in here lately I usually write stuff down when I am taking notes in Sunday School or Church, then I forget to write them here.  What's been on my mind lately is that some days I have forgotten how to put on make-up, and usually something that takes me about 5 minutes might take me 20.  I told this to my mom and my husband yesterday, my husband's response was to stop wearing make-up; and I don't wear make-up most of the time but I like to wear it to church or when he and I go out.  Even if "going out" is just around the corner to the grocery store. 
     I think (if I remember) I will go back and take a look at my notes and see what happened on what day and add it here.  I really wish that the other specialist I was sent to had of actually took the time to read my file...I gave the specialist that I like a lot a print out of the blog and I think he might of added it to the paper work...The waiting and not having a diagnose bugs me sometimes...but when I don't have any symptoms or anything I can pretend that it's not there!  If I can pretend that these symptoms are not there like I did for 9 months while I was pregnant then I think I can go on pretending most of the time.  I think I like that!  I am going to live in denial! Yeap!  That's what I am going to do!  Lol...whew, I am glad I figured that out!

     Thanks for reading!

Staying Active and Not Giving In

     I find myself walking my children to the bus stop when not even half way there my legs feel like lead and don't want to move...I keep walking.  I make myself go on walks even though my legs will start to hurt no long after we have left the house (luckily I have a stroller to push around now, that helps).  I make myself workout...I stopped when my feet first started hurting.  I am working out again and can't wait to see the results.  Not just for me but for my husband too.  I would rather stand than sit because everytime I get up from sitting my feet feel as if they broke in a million pieces. 
     I would like to go back to the specialist but I don't want the same out come as before where he barely looked at my paper work (which he did in front of me), and he stepped out for a private phone call on his cell phone and only left me with his intern. When he came back into the room and sat down he basically said I was a lair (in a round about way). When I told my neurologist this he didn't look to pleased and I was scheduled an appointment but they never called or told me when it was rescheduled...so I haven't seen or heard from them since...I pray that the one specialist that I love is still on our insurance plan, but not sure.
      It's hard being a new mom again after all these years.  I have forgotten a lot of things about babies.  It's sad to say that I don't remember changing not one diaper of my 11 year son's when he was a baby...I remember bits and pieces of his babyhood, but not much.  That hurts; a lot.  Thankfully my husband remembers a lot and tells me things.  I thank God everyday that he has blessed me with such a wonderful husband that helps me with my memory and other things.  Every now and then he gets frustrated...but who wouldn't.
     What I can't stand is forgetting things and people say, "you're too young to forget things like that." or "It's cause you got a baby," or "it's your blond moment".  I haven't told many people what's going on, but you never know what people are going through, or suffering with.  I would tell them if it was an official diagnoses...as for right now; I don't have one because my symptoms at the time were not severe enough and he didn't want me to be on medication for the rest of my life yet.  He did say that it is the early onset stages of Parkinson's. maybe that could change, it could be something totally different and I try not to read anything about it or about anything medical.  If I have questions about something I Google it and see what pulls up, I don't even click on the links for more information.
Thank you for reading...

Somethings have Changed and yet somethings Have stayed the same

It's been a long time since I have done this...Here are the things that has changed:
     1. God has blessed us with a baby boy.  He will be a year in 2 months.
Things that haven't change:
     1. The symptoms, from the feet to the shoulder and then some...I did ignore them while I was pregnant. 
     2. I haven't gone through anymore tests or gone to anymore doctors...I am going it alone for now until I think they will be able to help me!

how about this...

I've been married now for almost 16 years and today was the first time since I was a newly wed that I have written my maiden name.  it wouldn't have been so bad except for the fact that it was on an important document.  I can't figure out why of all the times I did that, and I honestly didn't even notice that I had done it until it was pointed out and even then I didn't believe it until I saw it with my own eyes!

Sharp Needle Pains

This morning I was watching an old Carry Grant Movie while folding clothes.  My left hip felt like needles going into it.  It was so bad I wasn't sure I was going to be able to go anywhere today.  I'm not sure if this is a symptom or not, and this isn't my first experience with this kind of pain.  I'm not sure if I listed every time or not, as I don't usually go back and read the blogs after I post them.  Anyways, I thanks for reading, God Bless.