Staying Active and Not Giving In

     I find myself walking my children to the bus stop when not even half way there my legs feel like lead and don't want to move...I keep walking.  I make myself go on walks even though my legs will start to hurt no long after we have left the house (luckily I have a stroller to push around now, that helps).  I make myself workout...I stopped when my feet first started hurting.  I am working out again and can't wait to see the results.  Not just for me but for my husband too.  I would rather stand than sit because everytime I get up from sitting my feet feel as if they broke in a million pieces. 
     I would like to go back to the specialist but I don't want the same out come as before where he barely looked at my paper work (which he did in front of me), and he stepped out for a private phone call on his cell phone and only left me with his intern. When he came back into the room and sat down he basically said I was a lair (in a round about way). When I told my neurologist this he didn't look to pleased and I was scheduled an appointment but they never called or told me when it was rescheduled...so I haven't seen or heard from them since...I pray that the one specialist that I love is still on our insurance plan, but not sure.
      It's hard being a new mom again after all these years.  I have forgotten a lot of things about babies.  It's sad to say that I don't remember changing not one diaper of my 11 year son's when he was a baby...I remember bits and pieces of his babyhood, but not much.  That hurts; a lot.  Thankfully my husband remembers a lot and tells me things.  I thank God everyday that he has blessed me with such a wonderful husband that helps me with my memory and other things.  Every now and then he gets frustrated...but who wouldn't.
     What I can't stand is forgetting things and people say, "you're too young to forget things like that." or "It's cause you got a baby," or "it's your blond moment".  I haven't told many people what's going on, but you never know what people are going through, or suffering with.  I would tell them if it was an official diagnoses...as for right now; I don't have one because my symptoms at the time were not severe enough and he didn't want me to be on medication for the rest of my life yet.  He did say that it is the early onset stages of Parkinson's. maybe that could change, it could be something totally different and I try not to read anything about it or about anything medical.  If I have questions about something I Google it and see what pulls up, I don't even click on the links for more information.
Thank you for reading...

Somethings have Changed and yet somethings Have stayed the same

It's been a long time since I have done this...Here are the things that has changed:
     1. God has blessed us with a baby boy.  He will be a year in 2 months.
Things that haven't change:
     1. The symptoms, from the feet to the shoulder and then some...I did ignore them while I was pregnant. 
     2. I haven't gone through anymore tests or gone to anymore doctors...I am going it alone for now until I think they will be able to help me!

how about this...

I've been married now for almost 16 years and today was the first time since I was a newly wed that I have written my maiden name.  it wouldn't have been so bad except for the fact that it was on an important document.  I can't figure out why of all the times I did that, and I honestly didn't even notice that I had done it until it was pointed out and even then I didn't believe it until I saw it with my own eyes!

Sharp Needle Pains

This morning I was watching an old Carry Grant Movie while folding clothes.  My left hip felt like needles going into it.  It was so bad I wasn't sure I was going to be able to go anywhere today.  I'm not sure if this is a symptom or not, and this isn't my first experience with this kind of pain.  I'm not sure if I listed every time or not, as I don't usually go back and read the blogs after I post them.  Anyways, I thanks for reading, God Bless.

Feet and Wrist

At the beginning of last week my right wrist felt so bad, it felt like it was broken for at least three days.  I knew I hadn't done anything to my wrist so I continued to use it.  When Friday came around it was feeling normal again.  By Saturday and Sunday my right foot, then my left foot felt as if I had broken them too.  Again, I knew I hadn't done anything to them.  I am not sure if these are symptoms or not so I'm putting them here just in case I don't remember to ask the doc at my next appointment.  Who knows anymore...lol.  Thanks for reading, God bless.

On Friday

     On Friday, I forgot not just a name but briefly the whole person!  What is happening to me?  My mom was talking and she mentioned the name and the name and the person I just couldn't get,  It didn't click.  I wanted so much to ask her who was she talking about.  You talk about this person like I should know who she is.  It must of been at least three minutes before it actually clicked and by then she was already on a different subject when I blurted something out about the person.  I didn't want to scare her, but it scared me.  How could a person just be erased from memory even if it was just briefly. I spent three minutes inside my head thinking who the heck is ??????, Why is my mom talking about her like I know ?????, Do I even know anyone by that name?  Should I know anyone with that name? 
     My daddy used to call me elephant when I was younger because I never forgot anything! I didn't have a photographic memory, but I could remember what I was told to do, or what I had said, or what others had said.  I remembered lots of things, but now.  I guess sometimes I feel as if I am loosing my grip, because I can't control this whatever it is.  I just pray that one day I won't forget to pick up my kids, or forget my husband or any family member for that matter.  I pray that I will always remember how to get home and where I am going! 
Thanks for reading, God Bless!

Studering...

I can't talk right all the time, sometimes I have trouble getting words out.  It's frustrating, but I try not to pay attention to it as much as I use to.  Tonight while up in my GA's class I had a sharp pain in my lower back, it went away and then came back.  I've had other pain like this before never blogged it before,  I guess I didn't think it was important.  From now on I'm going to try to put everything in here even if I think it's insignificant, it might not be to doctors.